


Teenage Terrors

by Krummbein



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Minor Violence, Out of Character, Teenagers, The author is French, Voldemort never had sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 11:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21493789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krummbein/pseuds/Krummbein
Summary: Voldemort is having a nice day: one of his Death Eaters has brought Hermione Granger to Malfoy Manor. But can he survive having not one, but two teenagers at home?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 90





	Teenage Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first fic in English ever!!  
I'm so happy. 
> 
> I woke up yesterday with the idea of this fiction in the back of my head, and I just had to write it down! English is not my mother tongue so I hope there are not too many mistakes, please let me know in the comments!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it ;)  
Krummbein

Voldemort was happy. Really, really happy.

Firstly, he finally had a body. After years of being nothing more than a cloud of smoke, it was a big step in his plan to take-the-power-back-and-become-the-Dark-Lord-once-again.

Secondly, he had been able to persuade the Malfoys to give him his own wing in the Manor. Again, a nice improvement after the last fourteen years he had spent in the woods in Albania.

Thirdly, MacNair had just send an elf to tell him that Hermione Granger, the best friend of his worst enemy and brain of the trio, had been brought to the Manor and was waiting for him in the smallest living room.

Really, he thought, everything was perfect.

* * *

MacNair bowed deeply when he entered the room.

“My Lord”, he said, “the Mudblood is here”.

Voldemort was about to tell him how very pleased he was when a high-pitched voice stopped him.

“I told you already, _ Mudblood _ is a very negative term that you should not use. I am a _ Muggle-born _ , but a _ witch _ nonetheless.”

Before he could even understand what was happening, MacNair had hit the girl and was screaming.

“WILL YOU NEVER STOP? FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!”

Maybe he should check that his Death Eaters had had enough rest before sending them on the next mission, he thought. This one was definitely on edge and it could have been a disaster if he had lost his temper while trying to capture the girl.

She, however, looked almost bored.

“Really”, she began, massaging the back of her head, “violence is not necessary you know. How do you want…”

But Voldemort did not let her finish her sentence and ordered MacNair to go home and, above all, to rest.

When the Death Eater was finally gone (it had taken almost ten minutes to convince him that no, the Mudblood was not a monster and yes, he would be able to handle her alone), he looked at the girl and told her to follow him. Because he was a nice, happy man, he would let her stay in a secured bedroom and not in the dungeons. After all, he had to treat her well if she was his hostage. Dumbledore would not accept the bargain if she was in bad shape.

They had been walking for less than five minutes when she began to speak again.

“Sooo, this is Malfoy Manor?”

“…”

“I must say I’m a bit disappointed. I expected something bigger.”

“…”

“And the decoration _ sucks _. Did you choose to live here because you thought it looked cool?”

Voldemort stopped walking and glared at her.

“The decoration does not _ suck _, as you so candidly say. This house is full of historical artifacts. This hanging, for example, dates back to the reign of Borbog the Bearded. From what Lucius told me, it was delivered only two days before the first battle of the Rebellion began.” 

“No.”

“What, _ no?” _

“You’re wrong.” 

Voldemort breathed deeply before answering again.

“I most definitely am not.”

“Yes, you are.”

She had a small smile on the corner of her mouth that made him want to hex her on the spot.

“It cannot have been delivered two days before the first battle if it was made during the reign of Borbog the Bearded”, she said, looking proud of herself. “Borbog was the one who stopped the rebellion. You really must be old if you begin to forget simple facts like this one. Guess I should have known, you’ve got wrinkles all over the face.”

“WRINKLES?”

Never, EVER in his life had he heard such disrespect.

“Yes. There” – she pointed at his forehead – “and there” – she indicated the corners of his mouth. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s human to age. Well I mean, even for you. Are you still considered a human?” she asked after a few seconds of reflection. “You look more like a snake.”

“I am still human, thank you very much. And I do not have wrinkles.”

“Yes, you have. Do you need to see them? I think I’ve got a pocket mirror with me somewhere.”

“I cannot have _ wrinkles_, you stupid, ignorant Mudblood, because I’m _ immortal_.”

“Really. How fascinating.”

She did not look fascinated at all.

“You know,” she said, “immortal means you cannot die. It does not mean you cannot age. Ever heard of the myth of Tithonus?”

He had, and he did not like the way the conversation was going.

“Miky,” he called.

The elf appeared, seemlingly terrified.

“How can Miky assist the Master’s Lord?”

“Take the Mudlood to her room and make sure she stays there.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Voldemort waited until they had both disappeared and made his way to the library. He needed a quiet place to think.

* * *

“Hum. My Lord?”

“What now?”

Lucius and Narcissa were waiting at the door, looking anxious. He sighted and indicated he was ready for whatever malediction what about to happen to him.

“We’re sorry my Lord, but we had forgotten that tonight was our 19th anniversary.”

“… and?”

He was already having a headache and just wanted to be left in peace.

“And hum… we have reservations. At the theater. To celebrate.”

“Sssso?”

“So hum, Draco is going to stay. Here. With you.”

Voldemort glared at the man in front of him, clearly indicating that he was not following his thinking.

“Well,” resumed Lucius, “he is a teenager and sometimes, especially around meal time, he can be well…”

“A bit annoying,” finished Narcissa.

“Yes, annoying might be the term,” confirmed Lucius.

“I’m sorry to say I do not see your point,” Voldemort said.

Really, what was going on with his Death Eaters today?

“Would you mind making sure he comes down and eats something?” Narcissa finally asked .

Voldemort took some time to remember how, only two hours before, everything had seemed so nice.

“… I’ll try.”

“Thank you, my Lord.”

“Yes, thank you,” added Lucius before disappearing.

* * *

CRACK

The sudden apparition almost made him jump, and he saw that the little elf was back. He stopped his reading, exasperated.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Miky is sorry, Sir, but the Mudblood says she is bored."

"Why should I care?"

"Miky really is sorry, Sir, but the Mudblood can do wandless magic and Miky is having trouble making her stay in her room."

He put his book down on his lap and bend his head backward. Wandless magic, huh? At the age of 15? Not bad, for someone like her. But terribly annoying for him. He looked back at the trembling elf.

"What does she want?"

"Books, Sir. She says she wants books."

"What kind of book? Herbology, arithmancy, divination…?"

"Miky knows not, Sir, please forgive Miky."

Voldemort regretted deeply that he was not allowed to kill the elf and made a quick decision so he would not have to hear him anymore.

"Bring her here, I’ll take care of her myself."

* * *

He had stopped trying to concentrate long ago and was just praying for dinner to be served quickly. The girl just couldn’t stop herself and talked about everything. What she was seeing, what she was reading, what she was thinking about the book she was reading… He had tried silencing her but apparently, she was also proficient at non-verbal spells. A new apparition crack was heard and he almost thanked the creature who told him that dinner was served.

"You," he said.

When she did not answer, he sent a jinx that made her squirm on her chair.

"I was not done with this chapter."

"I don’t care. Dinner is served, so follow me."

"Just five minutes."

"No.

"Please? This passage is fascinating. Please please please. Pleaaaase."

He tried to silence her twice before giving up. When she was finally done, she followed him quietly to the dining room where four elves were waiting for them. They sat down, and then he noticed the empty seat.

"Where’s Malfoy?" he asked the elves.

"The young Master says he is not hungry, Sir," answered the closest elf.

"Well, tell him I am waiting for him anyway."

The elf bowed and disappeared, only to come back a few seconds later.

"My is sorry, Sir, but the young Master says he won’t come."

"Well. Take me to his room."

He got up and the elf immediately caught his sleeve and disappeared with him.

The room was dark, and it looked like the wardrobe had been hit by a blasting curse.

"Malfoy."

The boy was lying on his bed, reading a Quidditch magazine.

"Whaaaaat?"

"Dinner."

"Not hungry."

"You have no choice."

"Yes, I have."

"No."

"I don’t want to come down."

"Again, you have no choice."

"Can’t I have dinner in my room?"

"NO."

"Then I won’t come."

"For the last time, YOU. HAVE. NO. CHOICE."

"Don’t care."

With a single move of Voldemort’s hand, Malfoy was in the air and thrown to the elf, who took him immediately to the dining room.

Sighting, he allowed himself a few minutes before calling the elf back.

* * *

"What. is. the. matter. now?"

Contrary to his expectations, dinner was not as peaceful as he had believed it would be. Malfoy was eating reluctantly and sighted every five seconds, and the Mudblood had been complaining that she did not want to be served by the elves, because they were slaves. Now, it seemed that she had yet another complaint, and he did not want to hear what it was about.

"I’m a vegan."

"A what?"

"I do not eat meat."

"Well", he slowly began, detecting that the conversation could easily lead to a new fifteen minutes monologue, "you don’t have to eat if you don’t want to. Maybe you can only take the vegetables?"

She looked at him like he had asked her to kill kittens. Nice, fluffy kittens.

"There’s meat juice on them."

"It’s not the same."

"YES IT IS."

Malfoy sighted.

"This dinner sucks."

"For the first time in my life, I agree with Malfoy. Can I have something else to eat?"

"No. The elves prepared those dishes, and you will eat what’s on your plate."

"I can cook, if you want."

"No."

"Or maybe we can order a take-away?"

"NO."

"What’s a take-away?" asked Malfoy, apparently finally interested by something else than the wall in front of him.

"Oh, it’s a Muggle concept. If you don’t want to cook, you order something. My favorites are pizzas."

"Pizzas?"

"Italian plate. Lots of cheese on it if you’re not a vegan. I’m trying to come up with an alternative but I had no time to test my last recipe."

"Seems yummy."

"It is."

It was hard to be ignored, harder when you were not accustomed to it.

"OUT. BOTH OF YOU."

They stopped talking, and Malfoy stood up.

"I don’t want to go back to my room," said the Mudlblood.

"THEN GO BACK TO THE LIBRARY. BETTER, GO WITH MALFOY. SHE’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY NOW!" he told the boy before storming out of the room in front of the two astounded teenagers.

"Well", said Draco after a few minutes. "Wanna see my room?"

* * *

"Ah, my Lord. We are so thankful that you were able to look after Draco this evening."

Lucius and Narcissa looked happier than the last time he had seen them, and he wondered how long it would take under the Cruciatus curse for those annoying smiles to disappear.

"…"

"I hope he was not too disrespectful."

"…"

"Maybe we should just go check on him?"

"…"

"Yes, I think it’s decided then. May I ask if you know where he is, my Lord?"

"… Somewhere in the Manor. With that annoying Mudblood."

He saw a flash of fear pass between the two of them and straightened in his armchair.

"Is this a problem? I asked him to take care of her while I was occupied."

"Take… take care of her?"

Lucius was livid, and Narcissa had hidden her face behind her hand.

"Yes."

"My Lord, with all due respect, our son is a teenager."

"I’m _ very _ well aware of that, don’t worry."

"What I mean, my Lord, is that when a teenage boy is left alone with a girl…"

"A Mudblood one, above all…" added Narcissa with disdain.

"_ Things_, may happen."

"Things?" Voldemort asked.

What was he talking about?

The Malfoys exchanged a second glance.

"Yes my Lord, _ things." _

"I’m sorry to say that I don’t follow," he answered.

Lucius looked like he was about to say something but decided against it.

"I think we better go to his room to make sure that nothing is happening," he said.

"You’re right, dear. A Mudblood, this could be terrible if the news was to spread amongst our friends!"

Voldemort suddenly felt really alone.

"But WHAT could be happening?" he asked, exasperated.

"… I think you’d better stop thinking about it, my Lord," said Lucius. "It could be really disturbing if I tried to explain the… the thing."

And with that, he left.

Intrigued, Voldemort followed them. Draco’s door was finally within reach and Lucius tried to open it.

"Shit it’s closed," he said.

"Can’t you open it with an alohomora?" asked his wife.

"It’s not working…"

"Oh Merlin," said Narcissa in hushed tones, "_what do you think they are doing in here??" _

Voldemort took his wand and aimed it at the door, which opened with a deafening roar. A scream erupted from the bed, and he saw both teenagers doing… _ what on Merlin’s beard was that _???

"OH MERLIN DRACO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Narcissa was panicking and tried to reach for her son, but an invisible wave pushed her back through the door.

"I’m OCCUPIED, mother, leave us be!" answered Draco, a bit breathless.

"Son, come back to your senses," tried his father. "She’s a Mudblood for Circe’s sake!"

"CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THEY’RE DOING?" asked Voldemort.

"My Lord, now’s not the time," answered Lucius. "We’re having a family discussion."

"But?"

"Please my Lord," added Narcissa. "You’re obviously not understanding the gravity of the situation."

"But…"

He was stopped by the sound of the door closing behind the Malfoys, and they stopped paying attention to him.

Finally, he decided that he had had enough for the day and went back to his wing.

* * *

The next morning, Albus Dumbledore was surprised to find a very annoyed Hermione Granger in front of his door, with a message for him.

_ Dear Dumbledore, _

_ Please take your Mudblood back. And do not let her come near me again. Never, ever. _

_ Yours, _

_ Lord Voldemort. _


End file.
